I Need You
by Samantha.Majka
Summary: Very strange feeling devided two loving people. Warning -  Very angsty.


**Hello again. I am here with a new fanfiction. At first I would like to thank to Keaira ( D.K. Rhoswen ) for correction. **

**Even if she didn't correct the whole fanfiction. I hope she will do it as soon as she will be able to do it. :) I wanted to share my FF with you.**

**This idea popped on my mind when I was listenning to Lady Antebellum - Need you Now. I hope you will like it. Sorry for possible mistakes.**

**Enjoy it.**

_P.S. : This fanfiction is written in presente tense, in the first person._

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**.: I Need You :.**

„_I need you now but you aren't here."_

It is the first thought that comes into my mind when I see the roses, which you have sent me. They are scattered all around the floor. Those red flowers mean so much to me.

It is a kind of cliche : thorns, red colour of flowers.

It looks like you can feel the pain in my heart which is stronger and stronger every single day. I pick up my mobile and look at the display. No missed calls, no message.

„_Where are you when I need you?"_

The day you left me was the worst one. I felt my heart was falling apart into a million small pieces. The whole world dissapeared and I stood alone in this room.

There was nothing around me.

I haven't opened the door in front of me for days. I am afraid of what is behind them.

I am afraid that I won't find you there waiting for me to give you a kiss, to show you my smile, to hug you.

I realize that I miss your smell, your face, your voice.

Your touch.

„_What happened?"_

I am asking myself and I am sure I won't find the right answer until I see you again. Do I want to see you again after what you did to me?

You broke my heart.

I am starring at the sky, talking to the Moon and I am wishing you can hear my thoughts. I would like to hope that the big white Moon can send you a message from me.

But I don't believe in these things after 159 years of my life. I know that there is no force to make you feel what I am feeling now. There is no God to show you the right way back to me, into my arms. There is no power to convice you that I am the woman you want to be with. You know it, but maybe you are afraid of admitting it. I am little confused. Every day you were showing me how much you loved me and now you are gone. I feel like a wreck because I don't know what happened.

„_Please, come back and tell me, what happened."_

I am looking at the door. Still closed. No movement. Oh, I wishfor you to enter this room, cover me with your arms and tell me that everything is ok. That everything was a dream I dreamed. But it won't happen.

**::::::::**

I had to make the hardest decision ever. I had to leave a woman of my heart, of my life. Feelings are fighting each other and I don't know which one is going to win, the bad one, or the good one. And I don't care.

I keep walking down through the streets and I am listenning to the rain drops falling down on the ground. Even if I am not a vampire anymore, I can still hear them. It sounds like a broken mirror, pieces of glass falling down.

I don't like this noise. I don't like to be wet. I hate the rain.

And everything is only because of her. The most beautiful woman I have ever met. She was like an angel for me: my personal remedy for pain and my saviour when I was feeling down. Her smile was made me happier and her eyes took me to the heaven each time I looked into them. We spent the best time together; when the Sun was shining or when it was raining. We were always together.

Untill the unusual feeling had appeared.

„_Why did I leave her? What kind of feeling made me to do it?"_

I want to know every answer, but I am not sure, if I can ask the right questions now. I can't stop looking at the sky. Rain drops are falling into my eyes, but I don't mind it. I wish I can send a message to her. I would like to tell her so many things but I don't believe that rain is the right mediator for sending my thoughts. Maybe she is somewhere out and the same rain keep falling on her body. Maybe she can feel my „Sorry". I wish she can feel it.

I am not sure I will be able to tell her sorry someday. I can picture her face in every single moment. I realized that I miss her smile, her warm hug, her curled hair. Her kiss.

I don't know why I did it, why I touched my lips and closed my eyes.

I just wanted to feel her kiss on my lips again.

„_How long have I been away ?"_

There is no need to count the days which passed away. Without her nothing matters. I don't need to know how long she suffers from what I did to her.

I never deserved Helen and now I never will.

„_But why do I think that everything was my fault?"_

She broke my heart too.

When I saw her with another man laughing and joking, the whole world was spinning out of control. I wasn't able to stay calm.

I felt like someone was stealing my reason to live for. There was nothing more important then her being in my life. And I was going to loose her.

„_I do not ever want to feel that pain again."_

I look on the display of my mobile and I know that I have to send her a message.

**::::::::**

Still on the same place. In front of the window. I am watching people going from one place to another one. I am sitting in an armchair and I am cold.

I need warm arms, I want you to cover my body and warm me.

I am shaking, trying to rub the skin on my arms and it isn't working.

This cold has to arise from inside of me.

„_I am feeling empty because you left me." _

There is no feeling which can cheer me up. There is nobody who can tell me that everything will be ok. I am all alone.

„_I am wondering if I ever cross your mind."_

I am afraid of the fact that you just used me. That you just played with my feelings. It is a very sad idea. I remember every moment we spent together.

When you were kissing me, touching me, whispering sweet words into my ears. It all is like a dream now. It all faded away when you closed the door behind you and left me here in this cold room. I know that I have to be strong. I want to be strong. But I can't. I just can't.

My heart stops beating when I can hear the tone from my cell phone.

I jump from the armchair and take a look at the display.

It has to be some kind of dream, of bad dream.

A text message. With your name. I don't know if I want to read it.

My finger is still flying over the button to open it.

I did it.

„_Helen, I am so sorry. I feel like an idiot. Can you forgive me?"_

In this moment you wouldn't be able to hear any heart beating, any breath in this room. Even the best doctor wouldn't be able to find out if I am alive or dead. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to turn back time and start from the very beginning.

As much as I wanted him to send me a message now I am not sure what to do. I am little confused. I don't know the real reason why he left me, I don't know if he is going to do it again. These feelings are too much painfull.

I am freaking out. My inner voice is convicing me to send him a message but at the other side the second voice don't want to let me to do it.

It seems that one of them is going to win.

I am writing a message to him.

„Come back, Nikola…"

Just a couple of words but they are able to explain everything.

I am tired.

I am trying to convice myself to go there, to go back to the bed, when we were laying together by each other's side. Every night was hard without you here. I had dreams and everytime I woke up, I was searching for you.

Only darkness surrounded me and I wasn't able to see anything. When I realized again that you weren't here, I was crying.

Maybe you got under my skin too much. Deeper then I hoped, then I knew.

**::::::::**

I don't deserve this woman. Why do Helen wants me to go back to her?

I acted like an idiot. Why is she always so gracious?

Now it is my chance to make everything right. To do everything to win her heart again and don't loose it anymore.

There is nothing to stop me. I have only one chance and I won't waste it away.

I am running to the hotel when Helen is. I am impatient while I am waiting for the elevator.

„_Go faster!" _

My legs can't stay in one place. I have to keep walking. I am nervous.

Elevator is finally here. 7th floor. I am pressing the button.

The corridor seems to be forsaken. I can't see anyone. I don't care. I just want to find the right door and knock.

„_Am I sure I want to do it?" _

I am asking another question and I don't know the answer. My heart is telling me that this is the right way. My soul is whispering that everything will be ok. It is my wish.

„_Helen?" _

I decided to call her name. I don't want to knock on the door.

„_Can I come in?" _

I am waiting for an answer. I can hear every single sound around me but Helen's voice is nowhere. Sound very well known for my ears has appeared.

Helen has to stand behind the door and I am sure she is crying.

„_I don't know."_

She answered me. It is a good sign. Even if she isn't sure about her feelings, she is there. She is able to comunicate.

„_I would like to apologize."_

I am trying to stay calm and keep tears in my eyes. It is hard. I hurt her.

I broke her heart. Her soul fell apart. And it all just because of me.

Everything what I did to her was wrong.

„_Me too."_

Oh my .. why is she trying to appologise herself? She didn't do anything.

„_You needn't to be sorry. I made a mistake. The biggest mistake of my life._

_I left you."_

I just took the handle in my arm and I tried to open the door. I wanted to see her. I wanted to kiss her and tell her, that everything will be alright.

But I couldn't do it. She loocked herself in the room. Maybe she is afraid of me. It was something what he didn't want to happen.

„_Let me go in and tell you everything, please. And don't cry. It is killing me."_

I don't know what to do. I am at the end of my strength. I don't want to do anything to make her more sad or angry.

„_The lonelines was killing me when you weren't here. I am not sure if I want to take the risk and let you come into my life again."_

I have never fell that feeling. It is strange.

„_I totally destroyed her life. What did I think of?"_

There is only one question I would like to know the answer on.

What am I supposed to do to take her pain down.

„_I promise, it was my mistake. I was scared. Now I know that only one thing I want is to be with you."_

„_Scared?"_

„_Yes. I am not immortal anymore. And I was afraid. Afraid of imagination of me and you in the future. You will never grow old. I will."  
_

„_Do you want to know something? You were wrong."_

„_I know. Now I am sure I want to spend my life with you. I don't want to be alone. _

„_I love you Nikola." _

„_I love you too, Helen." _

Helen opened the door and Nikola made a few steps to her.

„_Come here." _Nikola told and Helen snuggled her body on his. He kissed her in hair.

„_I won't let you go, anymore."_

„_I know."_

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**The End.**_  
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